Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
