And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I love you.
Bad choice
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
