we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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