what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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