This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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