i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
