i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
