Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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