she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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