Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
third nipple confirmed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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