Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
