have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
