it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
