But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
