Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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