the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
