Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
