he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
