my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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