Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
