discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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