so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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