So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
