He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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