Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
