So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
