I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
