Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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