I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
