I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
