One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
