very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
