This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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