I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
