well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
