I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
