I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
