I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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