I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
