I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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