just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
