when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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