I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
