I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
