i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
