i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
