I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
