i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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