never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's rum buckets o'clock
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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