They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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