Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i drank out of a bidet.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
